Thursday, May 1, 2008

Another day passes without an incident but also without deliciousness

I'm still okay. My belly is full but my mouth is crying out for something. I don't know what. But something. Creamy? Crunchy? Salty? Sweet? I just know it doesn't want an apple or a carrot. Nope. My mouth wants ice cream. That's it. And maybe a cookie or two or three or four or maybe more. I just miss eating whatever I want when I want. It's true that food is always on my mind but this is different. Normally I'm thinking of food that gives me pleasure and then satisfying that thought and getting pleasure in return. Now I'm thinking of the same food but it isn't giving me pleasure. It's making me sad.
I've eaten good healthy food today. I prepared it well. It was tasty. But nothing I would long for, dream about, wish to have again. Just food.
Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Just food. To nourish my body. But not to nourish my soul. Hmmm. Something to think about.
The Points program is not a good one for me. The last time I tried that, I ate three WW eclairs because they fit into my points. Of course, I didn't have any of the foods I was supposed to have but at least I didn't go over my points. With Core, I really can't have all that crap or I'd reach my 35 extra points the first day! Today I didn't even use any of the 35 points. I'm not consciously saving them but we are going to LA this weekend and it's going to be difficult at best to stay the course. What will I eat for breakfast? Where will I eat breakfast?
Am I supposed to worry about what I will eat on Saturday today? Or should that wait until Saturday?
Gosh. This is hard. I keep thinking about throwing in the towel but then I look in the mirror. Who is that fat old lady? Stay the course.

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