Sunday, June 29, 2008


I have an issue with myself. I'm still eating too much. Maybe not too many calories although that would account for the slower than anticipated or hoped for loss of chubbiness. But I'm definitely eating too much food sometimes. Like this morning, for instance. Had a good workout. Came home. Made a smoothie. Like a good little die*ter I made it with frozen fruit, skim milk, Splenda for sweetener and cocoa powder (instead of the delicious Fox's UBet syrup that I long for). The smoothie comes out very thick from the frozen fruit. Sort of like a soft serve frozen custard. It can be very filling especially because there is a lot of fruit in it. So I drank half of it. I was feeling "full" but I finished it. Because I love the way it feels in my mouth-all cold and creamy. I love sucking on the straw. Don't try to picture it. Just accept it.
I did stop halfway and thought about not finishing it but I finished it anyway. Right down to the last slurp. Now I'm bloated. Not uncomfortably so but bloated nonetheless. Fruit and skim milk. Not that many calories but it's the principle. Why did I continue after I knew I had enough? Just because it felt good in my mouth???? That's a problem I have to work on. Obviously. It doesn't matter if it's celery-when I've had enough, I have to stop. Otherwise I'm going to have to eat only foods that don't feel good in my mouth or taste good to me. That's purgatory to an eater like I am. Not that I'm into punishing myself....although eating to the point of being bloated is indeed a punishment of sorts. Something for me to think about.

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