Monday, April 5, 2010

Defeat and Victory

Well, I am giving up and giving in. I did it again. I joined WW today. I'm actually relieved. I haven't been doing anything at all to help myself. I've been overeating. Making poor choices. Not being mindful. And getting fatter. I need some structure and I don't mean a diet plan. I'll count points. I'll get weighed. I'll start to get back to mindful eating. It's been two years since I started this blog and went on WW last time. And I'm right back where I started.
Dieting most certainly is not the answer. WW is not the answer. I'm the problem and the solution. I had to do something, though. So I chose something familiar and comfortable.
I'm hoping this helps me get back on track. I wish I could believe that I will lose some weight and maintain the loss but that would mean changing my habits for good. I'm already thinking about what to eat on Mother's Day and on my birthday. I'm thinking about dim sum and french fries and Pinkberry and I haven't even started WW yet!
I admit that food is my comfort. Food is my pleasure. Other things give me pleasure but nothing like a crisp fry or a flavorful slice of Peking Duck on a fluffy white bun. Those are pleasures that cannot be denied. Finding a way to incorporate them into a healthier lifestyle--that's the issue. Learning to have one piece of duck skin and a handful of fries. I shall endeavor to work towards that goal.
In the meantime, I'll be counting points, eating more veggies and avoiding restaurants for a while until I've regained control.

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