You've done this before if you're fat: Cannot make a doctor's appointment until I have lost weight. If you're not fat, you won't understand. You know the doctor is going to say something to you about your weight even if you're perfectly healthy. She's going to say, "It would be great if you could lose some weight."
Uh, yeah, it would be great. Like doesn't she think you want to! Does she think you want to walk around with your thighs rubbing together or the button on your pants popping open when you sit down? Does she think you like to get undressed at night and see deep indentations from waistbands because your pants are too tight??? I mean, let's be realistic. It would be nice. It would be lovely, in fact. It would make my life complete.
The reason I bring this up is that I have an appointment for a physical examination next week. I'd call it a "yearly" physical except it's been more than one year or even maybe two since I've gone. Why? Because I was "waiting" to lose weight. Waiting because I didn't want to hear the speech. Finally I decided to bite the bullet and allow her to humiliate, shame and otherwise insult me so I'm going.
We all know that the exam starts with the public weighing. The scale is not hidden away in the doc's office. Nope. It's out in the hallway so that when the nurse swings over that extra little marker, the whole world hears it. You know, the one that tells everyone that you're over 150 pounds or 200 pounds. Of course I close my eyes and insist that she not say the weight out loud. But the humiliation begins as soon as I get on the scale. Too bad holding your breath doesn't make the number any less. Wearing light clothing, taking off my shoes, getting a haircut. None of that is going to make a bit of difference.
So, in the next few days: Can I lose five pounds? Should I even try? Will the doctor be thrilled if I weigh five pounds less? Will she know what a valiant effort I have put in during the last week? Month? Year? Life? Or will she tsk tsk and ask me if I've been trying?