Friday, October 17, 2008

It's all about my weight

I know that WW's commercials declare that "it's not a diet" but it is a diet...at least to me. Any time I have to restrict my intake, whether it's quantity or quality, I'd call it a diet. I kinda knew I was no good at dieting. I mean, look at me now and look at me thirty years ago or even five years ago. But I thought I'd give it one more try. The new WW Core Plan seemed to be doable for me. No measuring. Lots of foods that were "allowed". I cannot fault the Plan. I lost weight when I stuck to it. But just knowing that I'm on a diet (whether WW calls it a diet or a plan or whatever) makes me obsessed, positively obsessed, with food. With food I cannot or should not have; with quantities of food I cannot or should not have. I don't even like bread that much but in the final weeks of WW, I was thinking about bread!
What good has come out of the experience? Well, I'm definitely eating less. And I'm not going off on the ice cream gorgings of the past. At least not yet. Except for that one night when I had a large Carvel hot fudge sundae. But that was weeks ago and I haven't had ice cream since. And no fried foods yet. In fact, that's the first thought I had of fried food! So I think that the best thing that happened is that I did gain some control. Now when I am out of control, I know I am. I know I'm out of control even before I jump in. So I do it consciously. It's actually a choice. So I'm not so pissed afterwards.
I haven't weighed myself but I have certainly gained back some of that hard fought for lost weight. And now people are telling me that I look like I've lost weight. Go figure. Huh? When I was down 15 pounds...which certainly makes a difference...pretty much no one noticed. Now that I've gained some back, I'm getting compliments. Last night it was a compliment on my hair. Of course, I know what that means. It means, "You look like you lost weight." Let's see, a remark about my hair or one telling me that I look rested or someone admiring my shoes....it's all about my weight!!!

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